TORONTO - As the Seattle Sounders and Toronto Football Club prepare for MLS Cup final tomorrow evening, the eyes of two nations are firmly rooted on the battle to determine exactly who is the cock-of-the-walk.

The battle between prickishness and prigishness is joined on Saturday evening, so lets take a look at these sword fighting phallic centered cities to find out what makes their member swell with pride.

BIGGEST PHALLIC SYMBOL IN TOWN:

SEATTLE:

Joe Roth is an option, but even his dickishness pales in comparison to the Space Needle

TORONTO:

The CN Tower is massive and obscures the legacy of Rob Ford, right?

HOW THEY GOT THERE:

SEATTLE:

Firing Sigi Schmid, AMIRIGHT?! HI FIVE FOR FIRING A GUY RIGHT BEFORE LODEIRO GETS INTO THE SIDE AND THEN HEAPING ALL THE PRAISE ON SCHMETZER

TORONTO:

Being perennially awful til your fanbase started dressing in sack cloth and ashes, and then finding the right kind of mojo that will work one year before the whole experiment falls apart next season when Jozy Altidore pulls his hamstring 1 week into the season.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY LOSE:

SEATTLE:

FIRE SIGI SCHMID!

TORONTO:

FIRE THE FRONT OFFICE!

MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER:

SEATTLE:

The fans, AMIRIGHT?

TORONTO:

Jozy Altidore's Hamstrings

SCORE PREDICTION:

3-1