In preparation for the upcoming MLS playoff games, journalist Ben Fredrikson has reportedly collected all of his hot takes for usage during and after the games so as to ease his transition from reporting the facts to snarky quick-lash judgement about a team's success or downfall.
One touch hot takes.... TO YOUR FACE!
"It's important for me to have all my bases covered so I can get to bed at a decent time on Wednesday and Thursday night" said Fredrikson. "Likely we will all be able to write about the Sounders inability to win at home, or LA being terrible on the road but the earlier that I get these snap judgments formed, the better off I'm going to be."
While Mr Fredrikson admits that he has urgent deadlines that make it likely he will be writing his column while the game is ongoing, that didn't necessarily spur his need to create his pithy comments in advance.
"It wasn't the deadline as much as it is really difficult to be funny on twitter if I'm distracted with other things like my work. I didn't want to have to worry about writing about the inability of a team to score or what Robbie Keane is doing on the field, but rather have my well defined hot-takes available to post from notepad straight to twitter where they can be most effective."
When asked what he will do if the game doesn't fit his pre-set hot takes, Mr Fredrikson said, "Oh don't worry, I'll just critique the team that is struggling for something it did in the past. Gotta keep those deadlines."