PARIS - International superstar and man about town Zlatan Ibrahimovic has announced that he is already planning on not playing on turf if he does eventually make it over to Major League Soccer.

I'll do anything for the game, but I won't do that.

"I will follow the legacy of my counterparts Thierry Henry and Didier Drogba by not playing on turf" said the Swedish international. "This, of course, applies to a move that I haven't decided to make yet for a team that doesn't exist in a league that will do literally anything to get me. However, I can guarantee that Zlatan will not fly across the United States for hours in coach to play a game on a turf field. If Major League Soccer wants Zlatan then they will bow to all my demands. There will be no other option."

Reportedly, Don Garber has already agreed to all of Ibrahimovic's demands by stating, "Whatever you want, however you want it, just get here please. I'll drive you to and from the airport. I'll pay for your salary out of my own pocket, just come here."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this if it happens because by the time David Beckham's team in Miami exists, Zlatan will likely be 285 years old.