Tampa, FL - Jimbo Jamison is still waiting for the Women's World Cup to kick off in 2015 as his loud exasperated cries rung out over the half eaten drumstick he shoveled into his mouth.

I'm all about my country and limited edition vintage pornography, but mostly my country.

"When this shit happening?" said Jamison to his friend Tom-Bill Dupris of Pensacola. "I was expecting them ladies runnin' round in short shorts and that time where I can yell USA out in the streets."

Lacking the ability to look things up on google, Mr. Jamison is still in the dark about the United States winning the world cup and the fact that the tournament has been over three months.

"I'll tell you WHAT, I expect we are gonna run them Russkies off the field. Be like LBJ just running tanks right through the middle of the Mekong Delta, which he would done if we hadn't been sold out to the commies! I mean that's why we got this soccer here in the first place, but I say Go USA, anyway." said Jamison as he reached for the tin of Macaroni and Cheese that accompanied his 8 piece dinner.

"Well, we got them new womens out there and they are fighting for our country on the field, god bless em. Now we just gotta take out the enemy, just like Brandi Chastain and the 99ers, bless their everloving rear ends."

The Nutmeg News will report from Mr Jamisons portable trailer in 2016 after he finds out he missed the tournament by a year.