WASINGTON - The men that run D.C United Podcast YEWnited reportedly had their credentials to access the team, training and press box pulled after the front office complained that hosts of the low rated podcast were actually fans of the team with season tickets.
"They have season tickets? Fuck that! We don't need fans, here." stated DC United director of Communication Dave Reynolds. "What we need are ignorant laypeople who just want to ask inane questions and not rock the boat."
The front office for D.C. United stated that they were in the process of reviewing their policy for giving out media credentials when they realized that they had actually given too many fans access to the team.
"It's just a matter of time before a fan stumbles on something we don't want them to know. I don't know, maybe a secret training regiment or some kind of problem with an injury. We don't need educated fans, we don't need people learning things here, and we don't need podcasts that cater to 20's of people every day breaking news to the 5 interested listeners they have that aren't their mom and dad or their significant other," stated Mr Reynolds.
The Nutmeg News spoke with Caspar Hanover and Grant Kawaii, hosts of YEWnited, about the loss of their credentials and they had the following to say.
"We both think the whole thing is pretty hilarious, but as far as we know, no one else is having their credentials pulled. It's pretty crazy to think the team actually cares about shutting down our access, but hey maybe they didn't want our dozens of fans to listen to us talk about the relatively uninteresting things that happened at training."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as D.C. United pulls the credentials that The Nutmeg News doesn't have in the first place.