San Francisco, CA - Brand asset and AYSO scholarship recipient Jonas Gutierrez was reportedly reprimanded at the end of his recent U-12 soccer game for Almaden FC Barcelona East Bay Tottenham Hotspur Elite Pro Royal Area SC for forgetting to thank the mandatory list of financial sponsors and scholarships that allowed him to play for the $5,000 per semester travelling California youth soccer team.
"Run down there, score that goal and don't forget to thank your sponsors and financial benefactors."
The Nutmeg News spoke to program director Isaac Stevenson about the Gutierrez misstep.
"Well, Jonas came to us from our local, lower class parks soccer department with a sparkling resume and incredible monetization potential. We instantaneously recognized, in him, a massive potential to increase our goal and win count while simultaneously reaching our long standing diversity quotient. He's basically a walking dollar sign, or peso sign should he really make it big! However, we repeatedly told Jonas that he needs to thank his sponsors, financial benefactors, and the parents of the child he replaced in the lineup every time he scores a goal as well as before and after every game," stated Mr. Stevenson
Reportedly the AYSO club became frustrated with the attitude of Gutierrez after the team suffered two straight losses, the kind that Jonas was supposed to prevent.
"We didn't pluck him from the slums of Fruitvale for nothing," stated Susan Jones, board member and vice president of the outreach program for Almaden FC Barcelona East Bay Tottenham Hotspur Elite Pro Royal Area SC.
"He was brought here to help our team and expand our brand into areas we can't reach in The Mission and Oakland. We are counting on there being parents who live in these areas who have less talented children and a boat load of money to afford our insane fees every few months; or scholarship worthy children who are extremely talented that we can monetize and capitalize on for our own selfish purposes of keeping the expensive international brand licensing of our team name, current."
Reportedly, Gutierrez has been warned that if he doesn't score, win and thank his financial benefactors in the next game that he will officially be on warning as the club have found another prospect who is only 10 years old named Juan Iribe.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Jonas daydreams about playing a game with his friends where he just has fun.