Denver, CO - Stating, "I just like a place where I can have a conversation with my friends," Twitter user and Rapids fan Phil Spooner was exposed as being entirely too reasonable for Soccer Twitter.
See!? He is even smiling. What a jerk.
"He never says anything controversial and just likes to use the medium for information on his favorite players and finding out what his fellow fans are doing," stated friend Austin "@KroenkeOut9999" Thurgood. "I tried to get him to join an online conversation about the overall finances, ownership struggles and direction of the Rapids over the past few years and he stated that he thought that it could be better but that he thought that he would wait out the season before making any rash statements about the direction of the team. What a dick. I don't come on this website for intelligent and well thought out arguments, Phil."
Sporting a whopping 78 followers, Spooner's Twitter account last posted some very positive messaging about a great dinner experience, an entry into an MLS Sweepstakes and his excitement over the 2018 season.
"It's important for me to really think about the consequences of what I'm for and against before making a blanket statement about something," stated Spooner to The Nutmeg News. "I like to collect all the information, figure out the facts and then verify that what I'm thinking about is correct. Often times what I'll find is that some bias or personal issue of mine is blinding me to an obvious fact that resolves the aggrieved feeling I have towards that particular item. In which case, I feel relieved that I haven't tweeted about my aggrieved feelings."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Spooner is slowly corrupted until he starts posting emoji hot takes about Carlos Cordeiro.