NEW YORK - The collective referees for Major League Soccer stated that they were ready to look the other way on the conduct and play of Nigel De Jong as he was announced as an acquisition today by the LA Galaxy.

THIS IS SIMON BORG AND THAT'S A CLEAN TACKLE

"We plan on managing De Jong's ability to play continuously by looking the other way on his violent conduct," stated MLS Referee Mark Geiger. "We have been handed an edict by the league to be fair, and the only way to be fair is to ignore what he does on a game by game basis."

With De Jong roaming the field now, MLS Referees will be expected be even more consistently inconsistent with their calls.

Referee Baldomero Toledo stated, "I don't know why everyone talks about De Jong as a physical player. He is a light technician to me. I plan on ensuring that he is protected from the physical beasts in our league like Kekuta Manneh."

Reportedly Don Garber and Mark Abbot have insisted that De Jong be treated as though he doesn't have a problem with losing his head and drop kicking people in the middle of the field as billions around the world watch. "He hasn't earned a reputation and in our eyes is a completely clean player," stated Garber to a collection of reporters at the JFK Airport Sheraton "It would be cruel to treat De Jong as though he is some kind of menace and we welcome the grit he brings as he repeatedly slide tackles our finest technical players from behind on a breakaway."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as De Jong gets suspended in year one.