Vancouver, BC - Whitecaps fan Robbie Newcombe is reportedly, "Already totally fine" with the Blas Perez acquisition proving what a complete dick he is and showing that he really doesn't care about the Vancouver Whitecaps.
Coming to a BC Place near you!
"I'm a realist," stated Newcombe to his aghast friends. "If Perez can play and score goals, I don't care what his style of play is like."
Newcombe then doubled down on his comments by stating, "I also like the physical play of Kah on the back line, as well," before someone threw a beer can at his head and he was kicked out of his own apartment gathering of fans.
"We, as Whitecaps fans, are predisposed to hate Blas Perez and everything he stands for," stated Don Lennon, friend of Mr Newcombe for five years. "I refuse to accept spending time with Robbie if he goes down the rabbit hole of liking Blas Perez. The Whitecaps have a long history of players like Camilo Sanvezzo as examples of sterling play. There is no honor in Perez, nor in Robbie. If I have to transfer my hatred of Perez to Robbie, so be it. He was always kind of a dick anyway."
42 years of beautiful tradition, from Bob Lenarduzzi to David Oustead...YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVIN' IN THE FUCKIN' PAST!
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Perez dives to win a penalty and scores the game winning goal.