Philadelphia, PA - "Oh right..... players are owned the by the league," stated Mr Jesse Noddard of Philadelphia. "I actually forgot about all of that for a second."
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
"Hey, did you remember, today, that the league controls the contracts of every player in the league and the way in which teams can sell players"
Reportedly, Mr Noddard was going to get another cup of coffee when he heard about former Union player Amobi Okugo's loan to Red Bull New York 2 from the league itself. The confusion set in for a few minutes until he remembered the insane way in which the league he watches conducts itself.
"I had, for a moment, enjoyed the Union's play and the way in which we are picking up points early while simultaneously forgetting that this is largely a league of bullshit player contracts that somehow manages to hold the rights of every player and dole them out like condoms at a swingers party." stated Mr Noddard.
When Mr Noddard remembered the contract details, he also remembered that his club was really just a financial subsidiary of the league itself and the owners of his club just general investors into something that more resembles a pyramid scheme than a sporting league.
"None of this is going to temper my excitement for the Union, but man.... this league sucks sometimes."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Mr Noddard remembers that Major League Soccer actually pays for player acquisitions and utilizes expansion money to acquire players for rival clubs.