Columbus, OH - A recent blogpost using fan photogrammetry to measure angles indicates that there is a 4% possibility that Columbus Crew head coach Caleb Porter is actually smiling underneath his mask.

“You have to look at the lines of the face compared to the lines of the background,” stated smile truther Jacob Williams. “Trust me, it’s there. The smile is there. To deny the smile is akin to denying the moon. It’s there.”

Reasonable Crew fans indicate that there is no such possibility that Caleb Porter is smiling as his dour expression can be read through the mask, however Williams pushed ahead with his Smile conspiracy anyway.

“I think that if you look at the shape of the corner of his eyes as they pivot here,” Williams played with a small portion of the video interview as he moved the timeline back and forth, “that you will see Porter’s eyes… well… smize as Tyra Banks would say. It is CONCLUSIVE. Back, and the smile lines are tight. BACK…. and the smile lines are tight. Again…. look. BACK… and the SMILE LINES ARE TIGHT. Why cannot anyone admit this?”

For their part, Crew fans indicate that Porter remains nonplussed in all facial features as he repeatedly and consistently keeps the same expressions.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this a source from inside the Columbus Crew claims that Porter was smiling underneath his mask in Nippert Stadium before the game as he walked across the grassy hole by the team bench.