With the first insurrection attempt of 2021 out of the way, Republicans across the United States indicated their desire to have the country unite around the 22nd edition of the Major League Soccer SuperDraft.

“Thank god, It’s SuperDraft time,” stated a beleaguered Kevin Brady. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the prospects of Ousseni Bouda and I think we are going to see some really interesting trades for allocation money and future draft picks. All patriotic Americans should take this time to really focus solely on the SuperDraft until January 21. When we said Blue Lives Matter we meant soccer players from Duke.”

Desperate for anything to distract the entirety of the world from the horrifying rot at the center of Republican politics, politicians and pundits lashing about for anything to distract themselves from facing the next attempted armed insurrection found the 2021 SuperDraft as a possible great unifying event.

“It’s SUPERDRAFT TIME,” stated an enthusiastic U.S. Representative Alex Mooney. “Everyone should have a SuperDraft Pool! You can fill one out on Fox Sports! Let’s all watch the true American tradition of subjugating unpaid talent to a variety of distribution methods they don’t have control over. TWO WEEKS OF SUPERDRAFT COVERAGE!”

“We need now more than ever for the country to unite together,” stated U.S. Representative Ken Buck. “Regardless of their role in ruining the country with their socialist and BLM communist agenda, we should all gather to wonder who some of these players are that are getting drafted. Yeah we supported Trump, but now can’t we all support Barron Trump?”

The Nutmeg News will have more as Kevin McCarthy describes Justin McMaster as being very well spoken.