Portland, OR - Staring at his computer for the 19th day in a row, Timbers fan Michael Williams stated that he was confident that he would be next in line to purchase tickets from the Seat Geek marketplace.

“I renewed my tickets for 2022 like they asked,” stated Williams. “I am confident that I’m going to get my opportunity in this first presale to purchase the tickets I need to attend the cup game at home.”

According to friends, Williams has completely isolated himself from any other news, activity or life other than waiting for the tickets as he perpetually stands guard waiting for his opportunity to purchase.

“It will come, as they claimed. The Timbers, Merritt Paulson, and our ticketing staff set up a fair system that is weighted based upon special season ticket holders who already renewed for 2022. I’m very confident that I’m going to get my opportunity to purchase tickets. After the tickets come the cup. After the cup comes the parade. After the parade comes the purchasing of limited edition Timbers merchandise from their online shop. After the purchasing I can finally sleep.”

Family reportedly attempted to reach out to Williams in order to reason with him but he stated that, “I keep my vigil! I KEEP MY VIGIL! The game is not over, it has not even begun! There is no way that they would leave a valued member of their upper echelon Axe Society fanbase repeat membership since 2011 to rot alone in this online queue. My name is on a plaque inside the stadium! This is clearly just a test to prove how much of a fan that I am. I will serve my emperor in all things Timbers until he tells me that my watch is ended. The war has just begun!”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Williams debates about whether to refresh his browser or call Seat Geek customer service before he cleanses himself of these doubts by knotting up a Timbers bathrobe into a cat of nine tails and flagellating himself in front of a picture of Merritt Paulson holding MLS Cup from 2015.