NEW YORK - Stating, “I gotta get these things out before no one sees them,” soccer fan Javier Garcia quickly posted, “Promotion Relegation is a lie,” followed by, “Dax McCarty WAS AN OVERRATED METRO PLAYER,” followed by, “No one actually cares how many migrants died to build the World Cup,” before he refreshed to see if Twitter still existed
Friends state that Garcia become fidgety after he realized that there was a chance that his 48 followers wouldn’t know the full truth that he lived with every day.
“He kept talking about how everyone needs to know these facts,” stated one anonymous friend. “And then he said that he has nothing to lose anymore.”
Sources indicate that Garcia quickly posted more and more incendiary “facts” to his account with the only interruption being a momentary post to ask his followers if he was shadowbanned due to the lack of engagement.
“There’s no time left,” stated Garcia to his account. “Everything from my brain must be emptied into the garbage dump of Twitter. It’s the only way that I will be reborn free from this site. All things must flow according to the whim of the Musk and then we will awaken in a new era of consciousness free from Twitter….. yes… free from Social Media!”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Garcia gets a surprise call from Human Resources about some of his strident online views.