San Jose, CA - Stating, “this could be a good way for us to save some money,” the San Jose Earthquakes turned to their local PennySaver in order to find their next head coach.

“We need someone who is flexible with what constitutes the overall makeup and abilities of a professional soccer team,” stated one Earthquakes insider. “Honestly, finding someone in the PennySaver would really help us temper their expectations of what the job will entail. We really need someone who thinks the whole is experience is…. NEAT. Someone who thinks that the wooden spoon isn’t so bad if you think about it.”

Sources indicate that the Earthquakes have already reached out to Doug Harbottle, a 45 year dad of 3 with no professional licenses who coaches youth soccer from “coaching soccer for dummies” to see if he would be interested.

“He has former coaching experience and he said that he brings his own juice boxes and orange slices. That might save us another $5 per game,” stated our Earthquakes insider.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Harbottle complains about the lack of money available for player recruitment.