INTERNET - Jeff Andrews, a soccer fan for an MLS team, is reportedly absolutely ready to have the worst night of his life as he watches a US Open Cup game where his team has a high probability of losing and he will remain irrationally angry about the result for years afterward.

“As I move into my 30s I’m ready to become extremely cynical and jaded about this team,” stated Andrews to The Nutmeg News. “And this is a real opportunity for my team to lose in a dramatic fashion crushing my spirit and lending a negative viewpoint to almost everything regarding the team for the next year or two.”

Sources say that Andrews prepared himself by irrationally claiming that, “THIS TEAM WILL NEVER LOSE TO A LOWER LEAGUE TEAM,” on every social media platform he could find as he attempts to create such a high in himself that the inevitable loss will crush his soul.

“It’s my time to shine,” stated Andrews. “I’m fully prepared to not accept the eventuality of this and throw my hat on the ground in front of me lacing the air with a fine peppering of profanities I learned by watching Chelsea games for the last three years. I may or may not punch a wall, as well.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Andrews gets a sinking feeling when he looks at the starting lineup.