Woman Refuses To Read Player Profile, "I Don't Want To Like Him"

WASHINGTON - DC United fan Laura Halvorson has admitted that she refused to read the recent New York Daily News player profile piece on Matt Miazga because, "I don't want to like him"

DAMMIT, MATT. Why you gotta be so dreamy!?

"I refuse to cater to anything that would allow my opinion to be swayed in a positive light about any of those assholes" said Halvorson to her friends on Tuesday night. "Screw Miazga, screw McCarty, screw Robles, and screw all those guys who play for that team or all the players that ever will." 

With Mizaga's story one of a quick rise from an interesting background, friends of Ms Halvorson thought that she would be interested in that regardless of her team affiliation.

"Hell no, get the fuck out of here with that." said Ms Halvorson, quickly showing her distate of the subject matter. "I don't want to like him!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms Halvorson develops a rooting interest in an international player only to have them get picked up by Red Bull New York during the offseason.