Portland, OR - Citing a new loophole in the city statues that allow the maintenance of an urban farm in Goose Hollow, the area of Portland that is home to Providence Park, the Portland Timbers announced that they would include a free-range chicken roaster for the Key Bank Club stands.
Chip Fletcher is the head chef for Providence Park. "The chickens will be treated with care exceeding all current poultry care requirements. They will be fed organic corn harvested from the highlands of Beaverton, Oregon. Each chicken will be given an eclectic name from de Maupassant French Short Stories and will also be read bed time stories from an appropriate collection of fan donated material."
On the day of an event they will be draped in miniature Timbers scarves and then ritualistically slaughtered by Timber Joey just before the event begins.
Fletcher continued, "The chickens will be available in both sandwich and strip varietals and a donation will be made to the Serengeti Conservation Society with each purchase."