Dallas, TX - Writer, blogger and account manager for Frito Lay, Sam Denison, has reportedly become more and more wrapped up in blogging as an identity, according to friends.
"All he does is write about the team. I mean it isn't like he actually gets paid to do it", said ex-girlfriend Teresa Bain. "One day he got to write for the SB Nation blog 'Big D Soccer' and then the next day he was talking about interchanging 6's and 4's and which possession statics were relevant."
We spoke with Denison's friend Robert Whitner who had the following to say, "We used to go to games and drink a beer and cheer for our favorite players and boo the guys we didn't like. Now he has a tick mark notepad with certain statistical variables that he marks off for specific moments in the game. He said that cheering for Dallas would betray his impartiality. He has recently even started to lobby to get up in the reporters booth, and he ditched me at the end of the game so he could go interview a 4th string center back from Paraguay that the team was trialing."
TNN managed to speak to Mr. Denison about these accusations, "Well, I feel like my voice needs to be heard. What I have to say is important. I got 10 re-tweets on a recent story about statistical evidence of backpassing in the modern game as it relates to Dallas teams, but not as it relates to the Sidekicks. I mean this is only a first step for me as a writer. As soon as I get access to the sideline and the booth, then I'll be able to get on with Major League Soccer's official website and I'll never have to write anything critical again."
When asked about the negative effect this has on his relationships with his friends Mr. Denison had the following to say, "If they loved me, they would read my esoteric 3000 word piece on long ball passing and how effective it is as it relates to the modern game, totaalvoetbal, and Rinus Michels in 1965."