LOS ANGELES - With roughly five games of the season behind them, many MLS fans are finding themselves in positions where they are starting to find valid excuses to not attend this upcoming weekends games.
Douglas Keyes is a LA Galaxy supporter who currently finds his team third from the bottom in the Western Conference standings and finds himself looking for an acceptable reason to avoid attending this weekends game.
Keyes asked TNN, "Who are we playing again?" To which he was informed that the opponent was Seattle whereupon he then sighed deeply and began rubbing his eyes. "Man. I don't know. I'd really like to catch more games but it's like, I've got so much I need to do this weekend. I've got a yard to mow and try and keep looking as nice as possible before the water restrictions force me to cover the whole thing in gravel. I've also got a bunch of friends that are heading to the beach and another friend that is having a party at his place to watch the Dodgers. I really just don't have time to see us get destroyed by the Sounders."
This.... Or Robbie Keane and Clint Dempsey in a Douche Off.
Keyes is not alone in his sentiment. Across the league fans with teams further down the standings are finding more and more reasons to avoid attending their home games this weekend in lieu of chores or events that either guarantee results or else have a much higher chance of being enjoyable. Evelyn Jackson-Hayflower-Smithe, a resident of Portland, Oregon, and season ticket holder for the Portland Timbers, informed us of her weekend plans.
"We've had a bunch of rain lately and it's finally letting up and starting to get nice around here and I really just want a full day to go on a bike ride and hit up some food carts and maybe check out this vacuum museum I keep driving by on my way into downtown. Saturday I've got an all-day adult-league kickball tournament so that only leaves Sunday but the Timbers game is at 2pm. That means I'm lining up at 8am to wait for the gates to open to then stand around for a few hours before finally getting home. By the time I do get home it's going to be time for Mad Men and the Game of Thrones premiere. That's like, my whole day gone. I'm a season ticket holder so I think I can miss one or two games. Really, I can't wait for us to get a good series of road games so I can stop spending so much on stadium priced beer and go get some PBRs."
Finally, The Nutmeg News spoke with Toronto FC fan Claude Raners who had the following to say, "I'm really actively looking for anything at this point. Argonauts? Not playing. Leafs? Suck. The Toronto Yoga Conference? That's my ticket this weekend. If I'm going to watch something implode it might as well be my self confidence with regards to how I look practicing yoga. Look, I'll take my niece to see Wiggles LIVE! at this point. I know they are on the road and it requires minimal effort by me but at this point I'd rather watch Don Cherry make out with a moose."
TNN will continue to report on this trend as well as post highlights and scores from the kickball tournament.