NEW YORK - President of the United States Soccer Federation (USSF), Sunil Gulati, proclaimed that the United States could become the world leader in soccer corruption by 2025 if "The nation just applied itself and focused on raising the kind of corrupt leaders that engender massive amounts of unmarked financial transactions between like minded people, wink-wink".
MAKE IT RAIN, SEPP!
Speaking after the recent arrest of top FIFA executives in Zurch, last night. Gulati stated that the United States is on a roadmap to the possibility of corruption at all levels of soccer and that having a league in the North American Soccer League (NASL) that was founded by Traffic sports and still contains teams run by Traffic sports was only the first step.
"We are talking massive payouts for hosting the rights to tournaments, rigging secret draws, ensuring which teams get which marquee European teams, finding a way to keep the US Open Cup in certain locations, it could be a glorious time. Also, this way we don't actually have to try to win the world cup, we can just pay off a shit load of referees." Gulati continued, "We just have to try! The United States can be a corrupt place with politicians and campaign finance and the National Football League. Why not with Soccer? We could be a leading soccer corruption country if we had the programs in place to really foster corruption."
Gulati also indicated that they will be starting an internationally recognized FIFA EXCO bribary school that will show FIFA partners how to appropriately launder finances through the caymen islands and deposit them in a swiss bank account.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it happens.