TNN Style Guide here to help you celebrate Major League Soccer (MLS) Roster Freeze Day appropriately.
On this auspicious day of roster frugality and penny pinching it is important to celebrate correctly, strongly and appropriately.
Step #1: Hey there lazy bones, the first thing to do is dress well because this is an important day. If you are on the east coast, you are likely already dressed. If this is true, then undress! Get naked! This is an important day! TRUST US.
Step #2: Since you are likely at work, leave work. If you aren't at work, then you might be an MLS Roster Freeze Day veteran and we salute this. If you can't leave work, go to your bathroom. If you can't go to the bathroom, then ask that dick in human resources, Todd, why you can't go to the bathroom and punch him in the face as hard as you can. C'mon, we gave you permission to do so.
(TNN LEGAL NOTE: We did not give you permission to punch Todd)
Step #3: Pull out that bottle of scotch that you have been saving since your dad left it at your house three months ago because he got drunk on Keystone at your sisters wedding and forgot that he left the Dalwhinnie behind the presents.
Step #4: Check your team's roster and figure out where they could improve that might help you on a playoff run.
Step #5: Realize that they likely will not be doing anything
Step #6: Drink the scotch.
Did..... Did they....burp.... replace Roman Torres yet? ... No... ah...... DAMMIT BECKY! We had ashance.
Step #7: Understand the situation that you are in and head out for lunch. If the time that you are reading this is after lunch then just head home,. Your boss doesn't need to see you like this and he/she won't understand anyway. It's like that time that you took a day off to go to Orlando City away and everyone just asked you how Disney World was. Make sure to call a cab because you are likely drunk now. IF you aren't drunk than keep drinking. If you are sober, then get hyper caffeinated instead. Just pound one energy drink after another until a cascading flurry of energy washes over your brain putting you into a near manic state of hyper intense emotions.
Step #8: Watch old videos of your team's past glories. Note: if in Toronto then just watch highlights of Giovinco free-kicks from this season while listening to Eric Carmen's All By Myself.
Step #9: Drink More and get on twitter
Step #10: Post while sobbing uncontrollably.
And that's the appropriate way to celebrate MLS Roster Freeze day. Get out there and enjoy yourself!