Well, it's true. Your coach on that team you joined because you wanted to gain some fitness and lose some weight this fall wants to play a 3-4-3 with an offside trap in a rec league more renowned for having players that passed out drunk in the sun while the game is going on than actual decent play.

"GUYS, WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO IS PLAY SOME REAL BEAUTIFUL FOOTBALL", he screams at you as you limber up, trying desperately to shake 10 years of inactivity from your bones.

I TOLD YOU TO SHOW FOR THE BALL AND THEN PEEL OFF TO PLAY A ONE-TWO WITH THE FULLBACK! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!

"Back when I was on the bench as an equipment manager for U-Conn... That's D-1 folks... We played this system and I watched the boys take it to the quarterfinals of a local tournament" he says before setting out cones in a pattern for you to run and yelling at two guys who showed up 45 minutes late because they are thinking about quitting before you play even one game this season.

"This team is going to play some real beautiful stuff" he repeats as you realize he isn't even dressed to go out on the field.

"That's right, I blew out my ACL during a slide tackle to save a goal and my job working as a temp for Wal-Mart doesn't cover the insurance to get it fixed. Don't worry, I'll be available if I need to go out there, I've got a brace."

While you know that only 20 minutes into the season that your team is going to abandon this gameplan because the league referees are so awful that they can't tell whether you are playing someone onside or not and all your centerbacks are so old and slow that they can't track back fast enough to cover the 19 year old kids you are playing against which will lead to your team being down 6-0 in the first half, you still go through the motions to appease him because most of the team doesn't know each other well enough to call bullshit on him yet.

"Goddamit larry I told you to RUN!" he screams as you consider again why you signed up for this experience.

How many times do I have to illustrate this for you guys. We are going to attack here and then take them out of position! Memorize this! GOD!

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as you shift to a 3-5-1 with wingback play, because "that 3-4-3 was too ambitious and complicated for you guys to start with."