Orlando, FL - Orlando City SC capo James 'The Nuke' Gregory has taken to a strict training regiment for his pre-season training in order to get ready for the upcoming Major League Soccer (MLS) season that starts in March.
NO GODS! NO MASTERS! NO SHIRTS!
"Yeah, I've gone completely shirtless for the month of January," stated Mr. The Nuke to our reporter on Tuesday morning. "It's a sacrifice that I'm willing to make for the team to be ready for the upcoming season and my need to be shirtless for each game during the 2016 season."
While walking around shirtless in perpetual 60 to 70 degree weather may seem like insanity, Mr The Nuke has indicated that he is willing to do anything in order to be prepared to scream, "SING LOUDER" at 21 year old kids chugging their first Heineken.
"I'm even getting laser hair removal around my nipples as the one time I shaved my chest, the team won," stated Mr The Nuke. "It's important for me to sacrifice my follicles in order to be ready. This is a tough job, but I'll be ready to give my all when I'm smoother than a sea otter and as naked as a mole rat."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr The Nuke joins a shirtless cross-fit gym in order to be fully in shape while stating on his Facebook page, "GONNA BE SWOLE. #2016 #LyfeGoals".
EDITORS NOTE - Our apologies to Mr. The Nuke as we incorrectly referred to him as Mr Nuke in a previous edition. We have corrected that above.