Danbury, CT - Roger Wilson, head coach of Danbury Youth Soccer U-8 girls travel team, noted that the intensity of the U-8 girls soccer was not at a professional level as he bemoaned the coddled youth of today in a rant to The Nutmeg News.

SOCCER ISN'T ABOUT FUN, RUN LAPS FOR EVERY TIME YOU ARE HAPPY.

"These girls at 7 and 8 years old are just coddled. We need more heading practice, more ruthlessness and more of these women studying tactics and formations if we are going to make it as a soccer country," stated Wilson to our reporter. "I assign a mandatory level of at least 20 hours per week of self study and reflection on modern soccer tactics. These girls don't even bother to study, some of them don't even care if they make it as professionals and are just here dragging the team down by hanging out with their friends. This is EXACTLY why we are losing as a nation."

Wilson admitted that his methods may seem strict, but he states that he cut down his heading practice from 1 hour per 3 day session to 30 minutes in an effort to appease parents

"7 and 8 years old is when these players should repetitively be honing their skills to destroy their friends and competition in our sanctioned tournaments. I've also advocated that players on losing teams be told that they are losers, because they are. We are implementing a strict form of player relegation for losing teams where the members of the losing team vote a player off for being the suckiest bunch of sucks to ever suck."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Wilson screams at his team about their dedication to the proper utilization of an offside trap.