Dentist Desperate For Soccer Talk Exaggerates Patient Conditions

Madison, WI - During a routine appointment with patient Wesley Jones, Dentist Isaac Browning randomly found out about Jones purported love of Manchester United making Jones the first ever patient that Browning was ever able to speak with, at length, about soccer.

"What do you think about the City formation in the wake of the Gundogan injury?"

MMMHMM MMHMMDMMM MMHMM AHHMMHMMH

MMHMMHM AHHHAHH AHH HAHHAHHAH

"Oh, so you favor a 4-4-2? Interesting"

"I couldn't believe the luck. A real soccer fan, in Madison... of all places.....I was just amazed that as he was getting a routine checkup that he was able to articulate, through a cheek retractor, that he was a fan of Zlatan Ibrahimovic. It was an amazing moment at the practice," stated Browning.

Reportedly, while Jones only went to Browning and Smith DDS for a routine checkup, he was immediately booked for 4 additional checkups to investigate molar strength, tooth enamel growth patterns and possible gingivitis that coincided with premier league games on Mondays. 

"It's going to be great to have someone to chat with about the game, even if he is sedated on laughing gas and getting his cavities checked while we watch Manchester United v Sunderland in two weeks. I can't wait to have some real lad time at the practice. I installed one of those portable flat screen TV's so we can watch the game and I ordered a pony keg! We are going to get LIT!"

According to Jones, his comment on Ibrahimovic was just to make conversation and he hasn't watched more than half a soccer game, ever. However he is very concerned about the health of his teeth even if four follow-up appointments in 2 months is a bit excessive. Jones stated to The Nutmeg News on Thursday that, "Dr. Browning said he is concerned that we may need a follow up root canal and exploratory root check during something called a Champions League Final. I don't know what that is, but I trust the Doc to get it done right."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Jones continues to fake his way through a one sided Soccer conversation with his dentist in order to maintain his dental health.