CHICAGO - With only 12 days remaining in 2016, the United States Women's National Team announced 36 more friendlies to close out their highly profitable 2016 season.

"This bus will be picking up paying passengers in Cleveland, Chicago and Providence, so be on your best behavior."

"We are going to play 3 games a day for the remaining 12 days of the year starting on Tuesday," stated United States manager Jill Ellis. "It's going to really help us diversify our portfolio of assets and allow us to pay the severance fee on Jurgen Klinsmann's terminated contract."

According to the press release, the United States will play any team they can find, every CONCACAF team and a selection of European international squads in a barnstorming adventure that will take them from the east coast to the west coast of the United States. Tickets for the INTERNATIONAL ADVENTURE VICTORY TOUR AND READINESS SQUAD PREPARATION FOUNDATION TOURNAMENT will start at $110 for general admission seats.

The opening three games for the US Women will be against the auxiliary Haitian U-17 squad, the Antigua Women's Handball team and the Devry University Junior Varsity Superstars.

"We are very excited at these upcoming cash-grabs," stated president of the US Soccer Federation, Sunil Gulati. "Hopefully we can turn a profit this season after the money we recoup from these final 12 days."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the US Women protest the conditions on the refurbished Greyhound bus hired to drive them from the east coast to the mid-west.