San Jose, CA - San Jose Earthquakes firm "Rough and Tumble Bhoys SJ" has announced that it will fight itself after failing to find a rival firm with which to have a punchup
"We put out a request to fight this season on a number of different message boards including Big Soccer, Facebook, Twitter, Ultras-Tifo and even Tumblr without any responses. We are apparently the only hard lads left in Major League Soccer," stated top boy Jeffrey Newbury.
While the Rough and Tumble Bhoys had a difficult time setting up fights, they haven't had a hard time talking about fighting and their attempts at hooliganism on social media as their endless quest to be recognized goes unrequited.
"We set up a punch up with blokes down in Malibu with a fighting app called Grinder, but that turned out to be a different meetup entirely," stated Newbury. "We ended up getting pissed, having a walk about, lifting some new Stone Island clobber, having a row with some moaning little bloke outside an Abercrombie and Fitch and I bought the whole firm a razzmatazz Jamba Juice in celebration."
While the Rough and Tumble Bhoys struck out in Malibu, their quest to punch other fans in the face will not end so easily as Mr. Newbury elucidated, "My geezer and I are here to smash your gobs in, even if that means we have to get a bunch of our own lads together to fight. I'm gonna punch someone, somewhere over football. This is going to happen. I'm going to endlessly talk about the time I took someone down with my trainer before trying to not get blood on my new tracksuit."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the members of the Rough and Tumble Bhoys tweet out pictures from the gym of them lifting with their eyes covered for anonymity before they go to punch each other in the face.