Boston, MA - Stephen Harrison gathered a number of local children around his feet on Thursday at the Boston Public Library on Boylston Street for story time to speak about Jozy Altidore's first Injury.
"Why the year was 2009 and I was just a wee lad as you are now," started Harrison as a number of children immediately glazed over into a stupor.
"Altidore was fresh and still young at that time and I remember the hope that we all had that he might do something with his career as he was still only 19 and on loan to Xerez from Villareal. Oh my those were salad days. I was living on Winton street at the time and school filled my days with friends life and laughter," he stated with a wistful look at the window.
Harrison took a drink of scotch from a pocket flask made out of a copy of "Soccernomics" and began speaking again.
"We still believed in the viability of his career then, and he had two toenail injuries that required surgery on both of his big toes. That virtually killed his loan. My god, I can still remember it like it was yesterday," stated Harrison as he began to ramble about living in Boston during the 2009 and how Altidore's injury shaped him into the man he is today.
"May you suffer the sweet release of death before you children know the longing to see a good player like I have known. May hell take your souls in the fiery pits of incontinence before you love an injury prone man. And then the hamstring injury in 2011 at the Gold Cup and the hamstring injury in the 2014 World Cup against Ghana, another before the Gold Cup and then now. Children... some day you will understand how your country will ruin your job, your life... your career. THEY HAVE TAKEN IT ALL!"
Mr Harrison was then escorted from the premises as he staggered to the outside, wept and then five minutes later was convincing himself that "Altidore is still the future, he is only 26, he can still be an elite player"