Houston, TX - The United States Men's team announced that they Remembered the Alamo as they were ritualistically taken apart by Argentina in a fashion that called to mind the plucky band of Republic of Texas fighters that lost the battle against Santa Ana and Mexico in 1836.
"This was our best effort to recreate the eventual total capitulation of the defenders of the Alamo as we totally capitualted in this game after holding out for roughly three minutes," stated defender Geoff Cameron. "We felt that we gave it the old college try and accurately portrayed the difficult odds that were against the Texans, at that time, as we allowed Lionel Messi to slalom through our defence with the vibrancy of an exacto knife through melted butter."
Reportedly, many of the United States players stated that they thought long and hard about the odds that faced the brave men and racist slave holders that encompassed the Alamo defense as Chris Wondolowski stated, "Wouldn't it be great if we could hold out for some time before sickness, a lack of formidable defense, and an inability to overcome overwhelming odds takes its toll on our ranks and we capitulate completely?"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Lionel Messi finds a way to score another goal after the game is over.