Foxborough, MA - The New England Revolution announced today that they signed a delicious cruller that the team has had their eye on for some time now.
WELCOME! Can you play defense?
"We with the Revolution wish to welcome this cruller to the organization and hope that it can last longer than an hour in the breakroom," announced general manager Michael Burns.
"We hope that we can slot this cruller into a position between the maple bar and the old fashioned that currently sits right over.... um...... actually... nevermind," stated Burns as he brushed flecks of glaze off his mouth.
Reportedly, the Revolution signed the cruller to a designated player contract provided that it can pass a physical as their press release stated, "For over 10 years the cruller has delighted and entertained in Europe. We believe that the cruller can bring the same level of intensity to our team."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this development as the Revolution look to sign a raspberry danish, as well.