Sources have informed our crack investigation squad that the current Major League Soccer player identified as Landon Donovan is actually a body double, currently learning the game of soccer to complete a comeback for the sake of Major League Soccer.
"YOU FOOLS"
The Nutmeg News has been informed that Donovan actually passed away prior to the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil, which is the real reason why he wasn't selected for the tournament. The feud between him and Klinsmann as well as statements by Donovan after the world cup were fabrications by US Soccer.
As well, TNN found out that the Donovan that appeared on television as a presenter was the Donovan Doppelganger practicing his mannerisms for the upcoming "comeback tour", which explains his wooden analysis. As the new "Donovan" will not release his medical records, it has become clear that what people are actually watching in the league is, in fact, not Landon Donovan but a body double named Ray Gribble from Sarasota, Florida.
"If you look behind the ears, you can see the seams," stated one MLS player who wished to be anonymous.
The Nutmeg News tracked down Mr Gribble's family and they had the following to say, "We always thought Ray looked a-like that Soccer guy, but we haven't seen him in years," stated Catherline O'Hanahan-Gribble-Daughtry-Jones-Shambala, Ray's mother.
The Nutmeg News can categorically confirm that the NEW Donovan is being instructed in the art of tactical soccer by Jurgen Klinsmann and Piotr Nowak in order to complete his faux-comeback in order to sell jerseys, television advertising and quash the relegation advocacy of one Davis Winthorp Winslow of Los Angeles.
Our investigation department will have more on these shenanigans as we uncover them.