Frisco, TX - FC Dallas announced on Friday morning that they were celebrating 100 years of soccer in the metroplex area as they boldly absorbed every single trademark and game of soccer that has ever been played within a 400 mile radius of Frisco.
Man, those guys from a 100 years ago all look like they were from the 60s. What a time to be alive.
"We want to show our fans the deep level of history that we have in our area, and why it is important to not raise the minimum wage or pay players any more money because the players are horrible, little, communist agitating, greedy bastards," stated Clark Hunt, Chairman of Hunt Sports Group.
"The 100 years of soccer in Dallas shows the line of soccer 100 years ago in 1967 when the Dallas Tornado ruled the roost and when the Houston Stars were playing in 1968. FC Dallas is also claiming the Austin Thunder, the Houston Alianza, the Wichita Falls Fever, the Houston Force, the Tyler Lightning and the Amarillo Challengers. Especially, we are claiming the Dallas Sidekicks and the Houston Hotshots, because tens of people have fond memories of them and we are desperate to do anything to connect our history with theirs."
BASIC. MATH. BASIC. MATH
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as FC Dallas shelves a bunch of scarves for 10 years.