Boston, MA - After a season with 15 losses out of 20 games and a -33 goal differential, the Boston Breakers announced that their 2016 season was considered a wild success as they still retained a few fans.
Holy Crap, Boston.
"You would think that after a season where we were 29 points adrift of first place with one game to go, that we would be hemorrhaging fans, but we aren't...... yet" stated general manager Lee Billiard. "4,027 people actually came out to watch our home game against the Flash despite the fact that we have been abysmal at nearly every level. It wasn't even just season tickets. I mean, people actually paid to come watch this garbage. I'd say that is a massive success for the NWSL."
Reportedly, the Breakers Ticket Representatives are excited for the 2017 season as their season ticket renewal emails contained the following statement,
"Dear Boston Breaker Fan,
Thank you for your support. There is no possibility that 2017 could be any worse than 2016.
Seriously.
What are we going to do.... lose all the games?
PLEASE RENEW!
PLEASE, PLEASE RENEW!"
Fans were reportedly excited, as well, as the season drew to a close with a 4-0 drubbing by Western New York Flash.
"Thank God it's finally over," stated Katelyn Jordan of Allston. "This was not fun, it was not good, it was just awful... at least on the field. Finally we get to move on to 2017."
The Nutmeg News spoke to Breakers fan Terry Wilcox about the end of 2016 and they had the following to say.
"ITS DONE. ITS OVER. Maybe by the time that 2017 comes around I'll be able to enjoy watching games again without the perpetual understanding that my team is about the crap the bed. Dear god in heaven, let us never remember any of this."
The Nutmeg News will hopefully NOT have more on this from the Breakers in 2017.