Salt Lake City, UT - As a third of the United States recoiled from the application of a Trump presidency while another third cheered for any kind of pain inflicted on the first group, Soccer Blogger Carl Bartow admitted that he still thinks everyone actually cares about sports.

"Why aren't you people happy! We have a great team, a great town, and I don't have any ability to feel empathy or concern about the world!"

"I'm putting together a depth chart for Real Salt Lake, a prospectus for the Monarchs, a think piece about Landon Donovan's potential impact in the midfield, and an in depth review of Cassar's tactics," stated Bartow to The Nutmeg News. "I know that my friends and family are concerned about their well being, health, the future of their country and the safety of their friends and family; but they are all going to love my analytics infused break down of the current central defenders in Major League Soccer."

Bartow stated that he is relatively apolitical and didn't vote in the last election.

"I was just too busy. It was more important for me to really focus on myself and get right with tactics as we go into a new era. Are we seeing more coaches moving to a 3 man back line in the league? How does the influx of players from other countries dictate relationships between coaches and their players? Are Muslim refugees trying to destroy my way of life by being kind to their neighbors and opening mosques? PROBABLY! Everyone wants to know more about soccer tactics! I'm just going to stay relentlessly positive, all the time, and continue to ensure that I act like everything is fine all the time! The world is great as is the greatest country in the world, USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA..USA... USA... USA... USA... USA. Also, soccer, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Bartow continuous his laborious slog to ignore everything around him.