NEW YORK - Jill Ellis, head coach of the United States Women's National Team (USWNT), stated that she didn't know where the leaks started that insinuated that the USA would let Russian players on the USWNT, but that they were real leaks about fake news.
MERCIFUL COMRADES!
Ellis denied the Russian interference in a long rambling speech on Friday morning stating, "The Russians are good, they are fine. I like to think that I know what the people want and this is something. And the leaks are good, but the news is fake. We wouldn't let Russian interference happen on our watch, and we don't know about Russian interference. The USA is strong, but also very weak, but also very strong and we are making it great, but it's also bad. The Nutmeg News is fake news. You are all fake news and we know that while the leaks about the Russians on Team USA is true, that the leaks are real about fake news."
At the request of Comrade Putin relayed through intermediaries, Russian midfielder Elena Kostareva will join the United States to learn and play with the United States in order to better understand how to undermine them at a later date.
"Kostareva is a fine player. She is the best. She is going to make the US great again," stated Ellis to The Nutmeg News. "We must understand this moving forward. We are going to win so much. We are going to win so much that you are going to get tired of winning. We might be doing that with Russian sleeper agents, but that's not really any of your business. Also, we would like to welcome Margarita Chernomyrdina to the United States team, as well."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as we investigate how much Ellis knows about Russian interference in USWNT matters.