YEWNITED STATES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW! - GLORIOUS NATION OF UNITED STATES courageously kept menace of 20 year old soccer playing Tibet Women from door as comrades boldly struck global victory against RED MENACE OF COMMUNISTS HERE TO IMPOSE TIBETAN SHARIA LAW ON DEARBORN, MICHIGAN.

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Reports from The Guardian (liberal newspaper that is failing desperately. SAD!) indicated that GLORIOUS NATION OF UNITED STATES, banned 15 soccer players from Tibet who planned on taking part in soccer tournament in Dallas proving to them that squashing the dreams of women is something GLORIOUS NATION OF UNITED STATES can do internationally as well as locally.

One player representing terrorist hotspot of Tibet indicated that the United States was a well educated nation showing once again their intention to attempt to educate the local populace of women soccer players and get them equal pay. SAD!

Courageous Border Representatives denied visa for players stating, "Soccer? That ain't important. Get back to your country before we come for your oil."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as GLORIOUS NATION OF UNITED STATES strikes back again at global soccer.