Seattle, WA - Unbeknownst to most Seattle Sounders fans, sources indicate that the entire season rests on the result of game two of the Major League Soccer (MLS) season against the Montreal Impact.
"We looked at the data. We crunched the numbers," stated the Director of Statistics, String Theory and Juvenile Lyrics at Johns Hopkins, Carla Overbeak. "Basically the entirety of the season for the defending champions will come down to game two against Montreal. Win and a veritable golden shower of riches awaits. Lose and they might as well just pack it all in, abandon the season and try to set everything back up for 2018."
Reportedly, fans were unaware of this development as many Sounders Fans seemed to indicate that their perspective was one of the long game of waiting for the second half of the season. However, "maths don't lie," stated Overbeak.
"Trust us. We fed these numbers into a computer. This is absolutely 100% accurate. A loss tomorrow will end the career of Brian Schmetzer, the Space Needle will be ransacked by Brougham End Air Pirates and the underground people of Bainbridge Island will finally announce themselves ready to take over the mainland. It's going to be chaos."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this when we secure an interview with the mole people.