Boston, MA - Jake Stephens, a sometime New England Revolution follower and disillusioned MLS fan, has reportedly started talking about real soccer again with only one month to go until the English Premier League kicks off again.
"He was awfully excited to actually talk about soccer that wasn't causing him repeated and constant pain," stated friend Mary-Elizabeth Hewing. "I would almost call his mood, when talking about the Premier League return, as giddy. At the very least, it is the most excited I've seen him since the utter depression of realizing that he had to leave a magical Chelsea season with intense play and amazing story lines for the upcoming Revolution season that would likely cause him to start drinking in heavy quantities again."
The Nutmeg News spoke to Stephens about his current mood and he had the following to say.
"It's important to understand that I've just lost faith in the season, the team, the league, and really everything about North American soccer at all levels, right now," exclaimed Stephens.
"I can't wait for a league that I can watch from afar with play that is enjoyable rather than painful and fans that I don't actually have to get to know, with a team that was playing well, again. Major League Soccer in summer is just unbearably painful, and the rest of the leagues are just going through the motions, as well. You ever try to watch an NASL or NPSL match for fun? I think you get committed for doing that. The Premier League return is like a cool sip of water during the hot-as-farts disrupted MLS schedule of doom that the Revolution are following towards their inevitable non-playoff, and supposedly rebuilding year that will end with empty promises and a long line of bullshit from Robert Kraft as he increases his portfolio and reaps the rewards from SUM and the Patriots."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Stephens caresses his Chelsea kit in the closet and smiles about soccer, for the first time since May.