Soccer fans across the United States and Canada were reportedly excited to again hate the Columbus Crew as news that the Major League Soccer (MLS) franchise may stay in Columbus filtered out this Friday.
“I actually made a Save The Crew banner for them,” stated DC United fan James Forrester. “I’m really excited to start disliking their fans and team again.”
Crew fans expressed thanks to the solidarity shown across the league while fans like Whitecaps supporter Tom Reynolds stated, “I’m so glad that I can tell them to go fuck themselves again.”
Supporters in Cincinnati were excited for the possibility of the Crew staying as FCC fan Stephanie Halmon stated, “I’m so incredibly happy for their fans that the team may stay because I really wanted to be able to tell those fans that I want their stadium to collapse and their city to burn to the ground when we play them next year. It’s a great time to be alive.”
With the news looking increasingly like the Crew are going to stay, people who designed T.I.F.O. in support of the people of Columbus are reportedly changing their design to reflect the new sentiment.
“At first I was going to put a D on the banner to make it SAVEDtheCrew,” stated T.I.F.O master for Sporting Kansas City Ryan Lewis. “However, now I’m just going to make a two stick that shows Crew Cat being eaten alive by ants. WE ARE BACK, BABY!”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as we kindly wait for the appropriate measure to return to joking about Columbus as an utter catastrophe due to the Browns ownership.