Salt Lake City, UT - Shocked people who knew very little of the situation admitted that they were able to report that Alyssa Donahue is still attending games and supporting Real Salt Lake (RSL) after her breakup with RSL superfan David Edwards.
"We thought that she wouldn't be coming anymore," stated Gladys Williams of Orem. "Dave was always the soccer fan. I heard from a guy that my best friend knows who is a season ticket holder that sits kinda close a friend of Dave that he practically had to drag her to the games the first time."
We spoke to the former boyfriend of Ms. Donahue who stated, "It's fine. I don't care if she comes or not. It's not a thing, you know? Trust me, It's not. Did she say it's a thing? It isn't. It's definitely NOT a thing. Ok! Look, I can get up late again, now. And I can drink at the game, and I've got these prospects, now. So yeah, it's not a thing at all. Not at all. No thing here."
For her part, Ms. Donahue indicates that her lifelong passion for the game meant that she didn't consider a boyfriend to be an part of her experience with RSL as she bravely lied to all of us stating, "I don't need a man to enjoy soccer. It'll probably be easier to watch the game now without him distracting me with his incessant and incorrect statements about the game."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms. Donahue is told, "Good for you, still coming to the games," for the 23rd time.