LOS ANGELES - Local man, Stephen Brown, admitted that he was shocked to find out that local woman and supposed soccer fan Maggie Depaul didn't know all the esoteric statistics from 104 years ago that would prove she deserves his respect with regards to soccer.

She couldn't even name all the players in this photo! WHAT A RUBE.

"This woman doesn't know who scored the second goal in the 1914 National Challenge Cup and at which minute it was scored and which foot he used to score the goal," stated an exasperated Brown to good friend Eli Whittle. "How the hell can she call herself a soccer fan if she doesn't know the statistics from every single Challenge Cup final. It's practically the base level of knowledge needed to operate in the United States."

Brown reportedly came at Ms. Whittle after finding out that she was recently employed as a social media consultant for a local soccer team.

Bombastically stating that she was a, "know nothing pretty face who couldn't explain the offiside rule," Mr. Brown consistently attempted to undermine the expertise of Ms Depaul on a daily basis in an effort to prove that she was really just using the game to get ahead as he plugged his new blog www.BrownOnSoccerHistory.com.

We reached out to Ms. Depaul who stated, "I've played the game since I was young and I've always loved soccer. I shouldn't need to prove that I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the history of the game in order to run a Twitter account about a soccer brand."

None of this swayed Stephen Brown as he relentlessly badgered her with questions about the validity of the Soccer Wars, the exact number of goals scored by Billy Gonsalves in 1926, and whether Garrincha was better than Pele based upon these 10 historical videos that she better have watched.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Brown bemoans the lack of women that enjoy soccer.