McAllen, TX - According to his ICE assigned prison interpreter, Jose Gonzalez (5) of Juarez has not committed to playing soccer for the United States as, instead, he wept for his father and mother.
Sources indicate that US Soccer Federation President Carlos Cordeiro and head scout Thomas Rongen visited Gonzalez in the Child Detention Facility in McAllen Texas where Gonzalez has been held for the past 4 months after being forcefully separated from his family by the United States government.
“This new generation of youth prospect is something we cannot afford to overlook,” stated Cordeiro to the gathered prison guards. “We must DO something for these youths other than just reuniting them with their families.”
Fans of the USMNT state that they cannot believe that Gonzalez hasn’t already declared for the United States calling him an ungrateful and petulant child.
“How dare he come into the United States and not want to play for this country,” stated USMNT fan Brody Smith. “We shouldn’t let him out of his government mandated pen until he commits. You don’t come here at five years old, take my job, and not play for my soccer team. Hell, he doesn’t need family, and he doesn’t need heritage. What he needs to do is get better at soccer so he can play against Mexico later and beat them so I can taunt Felipe at the Taco truck because he claims he is Guatemalan but he definitely LOOKS like a Mexican.”
The Nutmeg News also spoke with ICE detention facility director and soccer fan Paul Brown who stated, “The subtle weeping going on in the detention facility every night tells me that we are creating a goldmine of future soccer talent. At least one of these imprisoned youths will utilize this horrible period of suffering and anguish in their lives to become great. The United States should call a few of them up, just in case they turn out to be good at soccer.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as SB Nation sends down an unpaid blogger to write a story about how future stars are being developed.