Tacoma, WA - Rival fans Susan Elliot and Theresa Wynn called for a cessation of hostilities and a truce after discovering that they are the only soccer fans at the birthday party of Wynn’s 4 year old niece.
“Susan was glaring at me across the room because I was wearing an ECS scarf,” stated Wynn to The Nutmeg News. “But then we realized that we were the only two soccer fans in the Pump It Up room and our natural bond and inability to have a normal conversation without referencing soccer overcame the hurdles placed in front of us.”
Elliot stated that she started talking to Wynn with the intention of needling her over the playoff loss inflicted on the Sounders in 2019, but ended up commiserating with her about Supporters Groups and the upcoming season, instead.
“Normally we’d be finding ways to twist everything, but this was a special circumstance,” stated Elliot to our reporter. “It was either talk to Theresa about the 2019 season or talk to Hanna over there about why she didn’t vaccinate little Riley and why he’s off gluten, sugar and bananas, right now. I’ll take the occasional conversation about the Sounders over that.”
Both soccer fans indicated that they would immediately begin firing at each other after the season begins as they friended each other on Twitter and Facebook while trying to avoid a group conversation about whether anyone uses a Naturalist to help with 4 year old anxiety.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Elliot screams an obscenity at Wynn in the parking lot as she pulls away.