MIAM - Major League Soccer officials in Miami announced today that the nascent franchise will hire soccer commentator Ray Hudson as its first head coach. The team also announced the they will play at least two season at Lockhart Stadium and that their first designated player would be Colombian international Carlos Valderrama.

”We are excited for the upcoming seasons at Lockhart Stadium,” stated Miami spokesperson David Beckham. “MLS is always interested in breaking the mold and this exciting partnership is something that hasn’t been done before in the history of the league.”

Insiders with Major League Soccer state that they are excited to break new ground in the league.

“MIAMI. MLS. LOCKHART! NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE,” stated one email that was sent in all caps. “THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! THIS CANT FAIL. WE ARE BIGGER THAN JESUS. GOD, PUMP THIS FEELING INTO MY VEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNS.”

The 57 year old Valderrama will be moving from a moderately successful season with the Colorado Rapids who will trade their rights to Miami in a fusion trade that nets them $10 and a option to bow out of Superdrafts in the future.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as MLS Miami acquires Nick Rimando and Jeff Cassar as goalkeepers.