Fans across North America were shocked, recently, as Richard Small, a pundit who has a history of saying really dumb things for attention, said more dumb things for attention, today.
“Everything you believe in is dumb.”
“I can’t believe the guy who went out of his way to actively piss off fans from all walks of life is doing it again,” stated Paul Gutierrez of Los Angeles. “Somehow I thought that even though everyone knows Small is a morally bankrupt asshole that he would change.”
While Mr Gutierrez actually believed in the humanity and possible forward progress of Mr Small, other fans just forgot about him completely until now.
“Oh I know he says dumb things to rile people up but I completely forget about him until people re-tweet him into my timeline,” stated Katie Williams of Minneapolis. “So now I’ve just moved to blocking him. I’m not going to have an argument in bad faith with someone who clearly doesn’t give a fuck about listening to anyone.”
Not every fan shares Ms Williams approach, however, as fans across North America gave Mr. Small the attention he so desires as they attempted to argue with someone who dedicates his existence towards being a dickhead.
“I spent the last 20 minutes arguing with him, and he just seems to keep saying dumb things,” stated Jamal Woolington. “However, I feel like if I just use the right argument that despite his 30 year career formed out of saying dumb and controversial things just to spite people that he might listen to me.”
The Nutmeg News attempted to contact Mr. Small who responded from his carefully constructed fortress of pleasure where he satisfies himself with printed out pictures of insult tweets.
“Oh god yes this is so satisfying,” stated Mr Small as he rubbed a print out of a Facebook post telling him how wrong he is. “Oh yes, I must… must enjoy myself with the dissatisfaction of all you small minded people. Only I know the full truth. You common fans are uneducated peasants and only with my full knowledge and intellect will you understand the truth. I am a god because I am on TV. I am a god because I have recorded many podcasts. You will bow to my knowledge.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Small continues to post dumb things shocking people everywhere that know he posts dumb things.