Nyon, CH - Aleksander Čeferin, president of UEFA, announced a new intergalactic Champions League Tournament with soccer clubs from the Galactic Federation.
“We extended the olive branch and offer clubs from Canis Major, Adromeda, Cosmos Redshift 7, Hoag’s Object, and the Little Sombrero Galaxy to bring their clubs to Earth in order to participate in the Intergalactic Champions League, brought to you by Slurm,” stated Čeferin. “Teams from the Tadpole Galaxy, the Southern Pinwheel Galaxy and the Wolf-Lundmark-Melotte Galaxy will need to advance through qualifications to reach the Intergalactic Champions League.”
Sources indicate that representatives of the teams from Bode’s Galaxy were exceptionally upset about their rankings coefficient that indicated their teams were not strong enough to join the UEFA Intergalactic Champions League tournament.
“⏁⊑⟟⌇ ⟟⌇ ⏃⋏ ⏃⏚⌇⍜⌰⎍⏁⟒ ⏁⍀⏃⎐⟒⌇⏁⊬! ⍜⎍⍀ ⏁⟒⏃⋔⌇ ⌰⟟☍⟒ ⊑⏃⏃⎐⍜⍀⎅'⌇ ⍙⏃⋏⎅⟒⍀⟒⍀⌇ ⏃⋏⎅ ⏃327 ⎍⋏⟟⏁⟒⎅ ⎅⟒⌇⟒⍀⎐⟒ ⏃ ☊⊑⏃⋏☊⟒ ⏁⍜ ⌿⌰⏃⊬ Manchester United,” stated the representatives from Bode’s Galaxy.
For their part, representatives from Earth’s Major League Soccer were reportedly infuriated as they, too, were not invited to participate, however as Čeferin stated, “If we were not going to invite ⊑⏃⏃⎐⍜⍀⎅'⌇ ⍙⏃⋏⎅⟒⍀⟒⍀⌇, then we certainly aren’t going to invite the Seattle Sounders. At least ⊑⏃⏃⎐⍜⍀⎅'⌇ ⍙⏃⋏⎅⟒⍀⟒⍀⌇ beat ⍀⟟☌⟒⌰ ⚏ ⎍⋏⟟⏁⟒⎅ 2-0 at the Estadio ⏃⟟⍀ ⟟⌇ ⏃ ⌿⍀⟒☊⟟⍜⎍⌇ ☊⍜⋔⋔⍜⎅⟟⏁⊬.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as representatives from TGSS J1530+_1049 ask whether or not Earth has Promotion/Relegation.