Salt Lake City, UT - After a spate of town halls, news reports, and strongly worded tweets criticized the Billionaire owner for furloughing part of the staff of Real Salt Lake during a global pandemic while also spending millions of dollars on old coins, Dell Loy Hansen admitted that he is concerned about the emotional well-being of the rare 1.3 million dollar dime.
“The fake news media and online bullies have gone too far,” stated Hansen to our reporter from the woolly mammoth bone entryway of his elephant ivory fortress of solitude high up in the Wasatch Mountains. “They can criticize me all they want and all they will show is their ignorance. However, to criticize this dime? This dime that has done nothing to them? This is an outrage.”
Hansen stated that he is tired of the fake news media and their outrageous attack on a simple dime that he bathes in fresh milk and baby tears every night.
“The attacks must stop. The fake reporters writing their fake news must stop. We, as a country, must come together and support rare coin collectors. Rare Coin Collectors Lives Matter and Dime Lives Matter, as well. SOLIDARITY! It’s important to recognize that when you tear down the life of a man who pays 1.3 million dollars for a dime that you not only affect him, but all the other money that he wants to collect. These kinds of things have a ripple affect. Trying to stop me from collecting means that my interns wont watch me collect and means that my fellow billionaires wont watch me collect.”
In order to help support the rare dime during this time, Hansen announced a new support fund for the emotional and physical well being of his rare dime.
“I will contribute 2 million dollars to the Dime Lives Matter support group,” stated Hansen. “And Real Salt Lake will match those 2 million dollars to support Dime research into a universal basic income for Dime collectors and healthcare for serious issues like patina loss.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Hansen creates a new American flag for sale for billionaires to show their solidarity for rare dime collectors.