LOS ANGELES - The supporters group After Party Ultras issued a terse statement indicating their devastation as Major League Soccer (MLS) announced that the annual All Star Game would be cancelled.

#ohbrand #united #unitedtoparty #PopBottles

“This infringing upon our rights to get freaky, pop bottles and wave our hands in the air like we just don’t care needs to stop” stated the After Party Ultras to their Twitter account. “We strongly condemn the decision to cancel the MLS All Star Game and all the parties involved. Where else will intoxicated and temporarily besotted sports journalists, team staff on per-diem, random people who know the right kind of people, and the representatives of corporate sponsors get to wander around NWSL stars and journeyman USL centerbacks with pop-leaning breakbeat blaring over distributed speakers.”

Sources with the league indicate that after a careful consideration of all the factors involved with the All Star Game that they couldn’t, in good conscience, continue with the multi-day event in Los Angeles as they cancelled the game and all the events and parties that surround it.

“This is why we are against modern after parties,” stated APU spokesman Jerry “Funkhauser” McGonaghal. “Back in the early footballing days, they would hold after parties for all workers and events personal even if there was a pandemic or plague. It’s how we survive. Pop Bottles! All Canape’s Are Bastards! Against Modern Parties! No Alizé No Party!”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the After Party Ultras work on a T.I.F.O display condemning the greed of cancelling the greatest after party in US Soccer.