WASHINGTON - Andrea Miller admitted she wasn’t entirely certain if the man that boarded the Metro at the Fort Totten stop was weeping because he was pepper sprayed, lost a relative to COVID-19 or just found out that MLS may lose a billion dollars this year.

“Well, he was wearing a D.C. United kit so maybe he is just sad that all these billionaires have a chance to be slightly less wealthy,” stated Miller to The Nutmeg News.

In remarks earlier today, Commissioner Garber indicated that the league may lose a billion dollars this season due to the pandemic.

“He was staring at his phone, but he had red eyes,” indicated Miller. “So maybe he was reading about the loss. Of course it’s entirely possible that he lost a loved one to this global pandemic. Or maybe he was out protesting against police brutality and the police pepper sprayed him. Maybe they even tear gassed him. I don’t know. I do know that these days it’s hard to tell which is the bigger tragedy between the global pandemic, the rampant and predictable police brutality and the inability of MLS to take in money from ticket sales.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Miller attends a mandatory zoom meeting about layoffs while thinking about poor Robert Kraft losing money.